No pictures, just words.

I sat down in hopes to get a little blogging done,

(I am so ready to be caught up - but not thinking that is going to happen anytime soon)

I have so much.

But as I look at the clock saying 11:15 I realize I'm too tired to blog.

I need to just go to bed.

But I miss this place, I need to write down my thoughts more often.

I remember feeling like this after I had Olive and my pregnancy posts came to an end,

they actually are therapeutic for me to write out thoughts and things going on in my life.

And obviously now that Mae is here I don't do those posts anymore.

Yeah, I am faithful at "Tuesday tidbits" but that's life all about the girls.

So here it is now 11:19, when I should be in bed,

attempting to write down a few thoughts.

....this may be fragmented.  A lot.

I'm tired remember?

Life is so good.

I seriously count my blessings every day.

I have three beautiful baby girls and a loving husband that adores me,

how did I get to this place?  

How did I get so lucky?

(I hope I'm not making anyone want to throw up because it all sounds so cheesy)

but I've been thinking a lot, especially since the tragic Connecticut shooting....

well, I try not to think about it too much because then I'm a mess,

but life is so precious - things happen, and things that we necessarily can't control.

I just want to hold on tight to my little family and never leave anywhere.

But, as winter is here....and here to stay,

that is exactly what we are doing - not leaving the house for fear that we will catch yet again another bug, and also because who wants to leave the house in the bitter cold anyway?

 and then I feel like I'm turning into a bad mom.

Real life happens and the girls get on each others nerves,

they fight, they fight with me, and we all just feel cooped up.

Thank heavens for bed time though,

come 4:30 I'm counting down the minutes Chris walks in the door,

or more like bed time.....

and once those precious babies of mine close their eyes and drift into dream land 

I'm almost ready to wake them up and tell them one more time how much I love them.

Don't worry, I haven't actually woken them up 

(too risky)

but I do go in and check on them feeling like the luckiest mama in the world again.

In all actuality I still feel this way multiple times in the night when the big girls come in our room and want me to sleep with them....

this is why I'm tired,

because I'm not actually getting good sleep - 

and crazy as it is, it's not because of my newborn - she's a dream.

Is four months still considered a newborn?

Please say yes.

I hate that my baby is getting so big.

Why does it happen so fast?

And even faster the more kids you have.

I hate to actually admit this but most nights Chris ends up sleeping downstairs because he can't sleep with the girls coming in and out of our bed.

We told ourselves that we were going to put our foot down at the new year

and here we are a week into it and we haven't done one thing.

Blast.

Maybe we'll start in February?

We had such a good Christmas.

I'm always so sad to see the holidays come to an end.

One, because January just plain sucks,

two, my house feels completely empty,

and three, there isn't a day that goes by that Olive hasn't whined for Ammy Phoebe since we got back.

Makes me sad that we can't just cruise over to her house....

but then again, it's probably a good thing because Olive would most likely just move in with them.

I recently had the opportunity to collaborate with some awesome blog girls on a yearly project that sounded right up my alley.

I was totally on board and so excited about it.

(don't worry I'll let all my readers, (yes that's you dad :)  know about it once it's launched)

But the more I thought about it, the more I just had a nagging feeling.

I knew now probably wasn't the best time for me to get involved.

I just felt like I wouldn't be able to dedicate the time I wanted to it.

My girls are my priority and sometimes I already feel like I'm maxed out with the downtime that I do have.

(for instance....here I am blogging at 11:30 when I should be sleeping)

I since have declined the opportunity, 

and I feel better - but I still can't help but think about how great of a project it is going to be,

and how wonderful it would be to have it all documented.

But since I still haven't blogged Christmas,

it just reassures me that now is not the time.

I need to focus on my girls and my family.

We are venturing into the world of preschool this year.
Ivy has been asking for quite some time when she gets to go to school,
and although I know she would have loved to go this year - I just wasn't ready for her to leave.
She misses the deadline for kindergarten by a few weeks and I just didn't want to have her start the rest of her life so soon...
because really once you start school - you pretty much are in it for the long run :)
I have decided to put Olive in this year though,
I think it will be good for her.
She didn't really like when Ivy got to go to ballet and she didn't,
so I think (hoping) she will love school as well.
Ha, I'm acting as if we already have a place for them to go...
preschool is so crazy these days - wait lists forever long, blah blah blah
to be honest it bugs me.
(that is also part of the reason I haven't put Ivy in sooner)
But I called on a place at midnight on new years eve in hopes to reserve two spots.
Fingers are crossed we get in because I haven't called anywhere else.
We should know in the next couple of weeks.
If we do get in I will be taking the girls every morning monday - friday.
(Olive will go two times a week, Ivy three)
It will be interesting how things will function in the house come September.
Ha - our mornings are about to get hectic.
(that is if we get in - and get the time of our choice)

On another note, I know I mentioned how much January sucks,

but I guess it isn't all that bad.

It feels good to have a fresh start - not feel so crazy busy all the time.

Chris and I have been enjoying our nights together with a movie or tv show,

we laugh each night about how we are going to start eating healthy tomorrow

while Chris sets out his work out clothes,

only for me to put them back in the morning unused.

Ha. Life is good.

Good night world.